Wallpapers

Quotes

Life

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

%#*%SM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk
away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

WALL ST VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity
swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back,
with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are
transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by
the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your
listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an
option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United
States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the
release. The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want
three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image
called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk
themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh#t out of you and invade your
country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy...

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive..........

No comments:

Post a comment

What else are you interested in?

Wallpapers India The Ministry of Nonsense Sikhism funny Guru Granth Sahib The Eleventh Guru English Japuji Sahib Guru Nanak Dev MSA Quoted Love Humour Art Fun Stuff Corruption Digital Art Politicians Serious Photography Life Indians Cards Festival Related women Celebrities Men Text Art politics god Feelings Wife Marriage Philosophical Cricket Crime Delhi Festivals People Photo Manipulation Rapes Religious Sports Stories Actors Friends Girl Friend Girls 2012 Criminals Facebook Hilarious Motivational Random Books Business Health Humans Jobs Money Rape Sex Useful Boss Children Congress Diwali Education Friendship Green Husband Jokes Life and Death Macro Mumbai Verbal Prison World Cup Brain Christmas Excel Father Festive Season Freebies Heart Mother Movies Nature Police Religion Republic Day Shame Sikhs Terrorism Work thank god 2015 AAP Aam Aadmi Party Advertising All About America Articles BJP Bankers Banking Boys Business Communication Celebrity Blog Index Change Conflict Corporate Social Responsibility Economics Enemies Eyes Ganesha Government Hate India. Pakistan Jailed Lok Sabha elections Longing Morality New Year One Liners Philosophy Photos Portraits Questions Sanjay Dutt Scams Shahrukh Khan Softwares Terrorist attacks Twitter Typography 2009 AIDS Anecdotes Animals Architecture Arvind Kejriwal Black Money Blogging Bollywood Caste System Cheesy Coast Common man Daughter Death Deities Democracy Dengue Difficult Dogs Dreams Drugs Easy Education Loan Football Fractal Art Gene Zelazny Google Gurudwaras Guys Happiness Happy New Year Hatred Heart-Ache High-Resolution Holi Humanity IIMs Independence Day Informative Intelligence Interesting Khanda Sahib Knowledge Krishna Kumar Vishwas Lal Krishna Advani Leadership MBA Marine Lines Marketing McGraw Hill Meme Molestation Names Narendra Modi Pain Pakistan Parenting Philanthropy Photographs Presentations Pride Prime Minister Professional Psychology Rajnikanth Rapists Recession Relationships Revolution Scandals Self-Development Shayari Skyline Smartphones Social Networking Social Welfare Sonia Gandhi Still Life The MSA Network Tips and Tricks Tools Trivia Tutorials United States VerbalPrison Videos Virus Visual Cerebration Weapons Widescreen Yellow computer emotions 1964 2000 2001 2006 About Me Action Addiction Adobe Photoshop Adolf Hitler Adult All About Photography Android Anna Hazare Apple Appreciation Arindam Chaudhary Armed Forces Arranged marriage Aspirations Astrology Atheists Autobiographies BMW Babes Bachelors Bad Bal Thackrey Beggars Believers Betrayal Bewafaai Bhagat Singh Bill Gates Biological weapons Bjorn Stein Blackberry Body-Building Book Reviews Branding Bribery Bride Bridges British Throne Brother Budding Author and Artist Recommendation Programme Bureaucracy Business schools CAIIB CBI The Book Calculator Cameras Campaigns Candles Care Career Cars Cats Cautionary Cellphones Challenge Channels Charity Charles Dance Chennai Chennai Express Chikungunya Child marriage Choice Christianity Cities Classes Colonialism Controversy Theories Culture Data Theft David D. Busch Decision Making Dehradun Delhi Metro Depression Diaability Dictators Disaster Discrimination Diseases Doctor Documentaries Drinks Drunkards Ebon Moss-Bachrach Edward Herrmann Electronic Items Email Emergency Environment Equity Eric Berne Estudiante de la vida Events Exams Exercises Exterior FIFA Failure Family Female Females Films Finance Flag Flowers Food Food and Drink For Dummies series Foreign Affairs Free e-books Fun Gandhis Gangrape General Awareness Genocide Germany Good Goodness Groom Gyan Happy Valentines Day Heather Goldenhersh Help Hinduism History Hobby Homeless Horoscope Horror Hospital Hotels IIPM IITians IPL IT Executives Illiteracy Impersonation Inc. Incarceration Independence India Eisley Indian Inflation Information Inspiration International Business Interviews Investments Isla Fisher Islam JAIIB Janmashtmi Japanese Jason Biggs Joanna Gleason Job Applications Joe Pantoliano Kate Beckinsale Kaur Kidnappings Kittens Knowledge Center Ladies Languages Laughter Law Law and Order Leg-Pulling Lessons Lies Life of a Commoner in India Light Lohri M S Ahluwalia MS Office MSAVideos MaJik Maharashtra Malaria Mamata Bannerjee Management Manohar Parrikar Mans Marlind Margo Martindale Marine Drive Mark Faber Masses Match-fixing Mein Kampf Michael Ealy Michael Ian Black Michael Weston Milestones Military Mobiles Modelling Models Moolmantar Mosquitoes Mother's Day Murderer Mushy Must Forward My arranged marriage MySpace NCERT Nation National Anthem Naughty Naukri Nepotism News Nirbhaya Objects Occasions Office Olympics One-Liners Onion Opinion polls Optimism Organisational Behaviour Painters Palghar Parole Past Patriotism Penguin Personal Personalities Personality disorder Pets Photographers Poems Poetry Political Pornography Positive Thinking Poverty PresBooks President Property Psychedelic Public Relations Punjabi Puppies Puzzles RIP Rahul Gandhi Rains Ramayan Reading Red Fort Relief Operations Research Retirement Romantic Comedy Roshni Chopra Salman Khan Samsung Savings Scott Speedman Self-Introspection Self-help Senior Citizens Sensuality Sentimental Sexually transmitted diseases Shakira Shiv Sena Sikhism decoded Singers Singh Sir Sobha Singh Sirf Business Sister Smartness Social Media Solitude/Tanhayee Spirituality Sportspersons Spying Stephen Rea Stories by MSA Success Suicide Sunny Leone Super Notes Suspense Sweet Taiwan Technology Telemarketing Telephones Television shows Test The All About Series Theo James Thought-Provoking Thriller Tools and techniques Top Tourists Tracing Tragedy Travel Truth UN US Economy Unemplyment Uttarakhand Vector Art Victimised Violence Visa Visionary Voting Warning Wikipedia Wiley Publishing Yash Chopra You Youth Zodiac ZodiacZone eBooks engineer iOS red indians righteousness sadness stock markets techie thank train